Thursday, May 19, 2011


Why is it when you have confidence it seems like you will never not have it, but when you lose your confidence it seems like you will never get it back?
            Over the past few weeks I have watched my boys live on both sides of that conundrum.  They have both had days when they were sure they could do no wrong, and days when they couldn’t even remember how to do things right. Watching them is almost painful.  I see how when they win or play good pride starts to grasp at them, and I see how when it goes bad fear and discouragement try to grasp at them as well.  I have been there so many times riding the rollercoaster of success and failure until you just want to get off.  My boys and I talk about our value not being tied to our success in the arena or on the field and I know where my value is found chapter and verse.  However, knowing the truth and living in the truth are completely different things.  One can say their confidence is in the Lord but only the trials of life will let you know if the statement is true or not.   When I find my confidence on the wane the only thing I know is to do the little things.  Rope the dummy a few more times, hit a few off of the tee, work your horse… and in the midst of being faithful in the little things I usually find (what I guess I really always knew) the  Father is there with me and if he is with me then it’s going to be alright.  Likewise when my confidence is high I find if I will just remember to do the little things I am reminded the victory belongs to the Father.
            I hope it doesn’t take my boys as long as it has taken me to get off of the confidence roller coaster!

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